I had to read a Mills and Boon for one of my classes last semester, and I’ve just found it under my bed (I’m cleaning). It’s full of all the stuff you’d expect (“She felt the intensity of his rapture as he possessed her”, etc.), but my favourite thing in the whole book is the following paragraph (to set the scene: Jed and Elena [who is a successful horror writer] are desperately in love and on their honeymoon, six weeks after they met at Jed’s brother Sam’s funeral. Jed has begun to question Elena’s relationship with Sam and is feeling a bit jealous [this is before it comes out that Elena and Sam had a one-night stand and now she’s – gasp! – carrying his baby]):
Regret tightened [Jed’s] mouth. “I guess there’s a whole raft of things I didn’t know about my kid brother. Except, of course, how fond he was of you. When he came home on those flying visits of his the conversation always came round to you. He gave me one of your books and told me to be impressed. I was; I didn’t need telling,” he complimented coolly. “You handle horror with a sophistication, intelligence and subtlety that makes a refreshing change from the usual crude blood and gore of the genre.”
Is that not the most gloriously unnatural piece of dialogue ever written?
28 November, 2007 at 1:08 am
I’m impressed this character speaks at all considering the one I have read. Could you write another entry on Mills and Boon genre and include the concept of the talk, dark, handsome and more or less mute (or occasionally growling in gruff tones) stranger concept, (be still my beating heart – communication using dialogue is so obviously overrated when monosyllables will suffice) there is so much material there, I think ‘life-support’ ran a segment on it at some stage.
28 November, 2007 at 11:33 am
Oh, C., that would mean having to read another one! Ghastly. Although, now that I have finished my last assignment, I do have a lot of time on my hands…
28 November, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Congratulations!
I haven’t, thus procrastinating in this arena.
As for the more verbose characters:
…in two strides he was besides her.
“Cliff” she utters (or some other rock-like sounding name, take your pick, ha geologists take note)
“shh..dont speak..” he replies (yes, if she ever had an opinion now’s the time to silence it)
….darling” (he adds this as an afterthought – softens the blow – your quote I believe D!)
Go on, you could pull it apart as an example of patriarchy in popular culture.
26 January, 2010 at 11:23 am
[…] a school librarian now and, sadly, there are no Mills & Boons to be seen. I have, however, been cataloguing a whole heap of surprisingly racy Christian romance […]